Bleeding Feathers

Bleeding Feathers

The idea for Feathers originated in 2020, a landmark year for us all if you recall.

The question I just kept asking myself was, “Where are the guardian angels? Surely they can do better than this.” And that slowly turned into “Well, could there actually be enough Guardian Angels for everyone who needs one right now?” “How do they “recruit” Guardian Angels? And the idea just stretched out over itself and spiraled around like yarn until I had answered those questions in my sketchbook.

Originally Guardians Incorporated, Feathers explores the idea of heirloom Angels and their counterpart “temp” angels navigating a protection recession together on Earth.

I really like this concept because it kind of brings a lot of my thoughts around generational wealth and class privilege forward in a fun way.

In this way “Heirloom Angels” are Angels of white wings assigned to bloodlines and passed down from generations. The thing is, “Heirloom Angels” stopped being assigned a long time ago. And it was ok, because humans are supposed to be compassionate pack creatures. Every human doesn’t need an angel, because theoretically speaking, we should all help each other and most of our problems should be able to be solved or navigated as a community. By that logic, at least a few angels would end up in every community of people.

However, that didn’t happen. Despite humans being pack creatures, dwellings, resources, education and even food and medication have been divided and hoarded. Some parts of the world are more individualistic than others, but overall the world has shifted more towards cruel selfishness. More often than not, Heirloom Angels end up flocking together because that’s what their assignments tend to do.

Temp Angels are born when someone suffers a fate that was preventable. When a person struggling with homelessness freezes on the street, when a woman is beat to death, when someone loses their battles with addiction or depression. When someone’s community fails them, I’ve decided to bring them back as as temps who can save others from suffering that fate.

Aside from capitalism’s never ending list of failures, I was also inspired by a few different genres and mediums for this project. My first and favorite inspiration for this project is the anime, Noragami. It’s a visually beautiful show with a very touching message and I highly encourage you to check it out. One of my favorite themes in media is spiritual revival. I love seeing endings become beginnings. I’m a firm believer that we die so many times in this life and come back as so many different people, that we could all be unrecognizable to each other in five years time. It’s always fun for me to see that theme explored in media.

I also took inspiration for this current developmental phase from my real life. While I was exploring topics for my debut collection, I also had a whole other life I was trying to maintain and it was just a lot. I reached a point where I knew I’d given all I had to give in that leg of my journey and I was luckily able to retreat back into my studio to recover.

Even while I was recovering from exhaustion and partial burnout, I couldn’t stop because I couldn’t really tell where the problem ended and the solution began in relation to my work. And that for me is best exemplified in the below art piece. It was like I was drowning, but when I opened my mouth to scream I found a new existence instead of death. I’ve always had a running motif in my work about excruciating transformations and this was definitely one of them. Suddenly, instead of peacefully waking up in algorithm heaven, my temp angels vomited up sticky feathers that ravaged their bodies until they were terraformed anew. Or maybe, when a blade ran cross their wrists instead of wet stinging, they would feel an undeniable itching that caused them to scratch the skin from their forearm to shoulder blade like a mangy dog to make room for greasy, iridescent feathers.

Something grotesque and weird like that.

And as violent as that transformation sounds, I think that when we have to grow into the role of not only caring for ourselves, but also those around us, the transformation is spurred by pain. Sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes not. Never pretty.

Over the years, I’ve toyed with this idea from a few different angles. I’ve done mini comics, characters sheets, pages of script and world-building. But in the end, the project was just too advanced for my current skillset.

Currently, I’m working on translating this idea into a collection of paintings that will feature some of my more prominent OCs from this series.

During my time in the studio (which I called the “Recovery Suite”), I ended up with four concept artworks for the collection. I wasn’t going to count these as being official parts of the collection, but I think I actually will now. I think those four pieces ended up being the first ones to make me feel something like that in a while. And they’re a bit morbid, but hey that’s art.

Imagine drowning and opening your mouth to scream, but instead of your last breath slipping away into the water you start to choke up feathers.

The actual acrylic paintings are taking a little longer than I thought. Honestly, I always underestimate the time required to do things. Especially new things. So, I’m really taking my times to absorb every little thing I can from this valuable practice.

With that in mind, I don’t want to completely abandon my other mediums, so I’ll probably end up incorporating a wide range of other mediums into the collection as well.

I’m learning so much and every day I find something else that inspires me :)